fanghemsley

Hee hee i get to see little BB on 28th Sept @2.30p.m... so cool.. i was really hoping to be able to see BB gender but i know there are those who only knew at 20th week onwards.. so i was trying to convince myself not to get my hopes up too high.. when i went to see Dr Kek, she asked me if i would like to know the BB gender.. i nod my head profusely and i guess she might tot i am a bit siao... hur hur.. jon was also excited.. i could see the body parts forming well.. it was so amazing.. can see heartbeat also.. baby showing us his hi 5 pose.. so funny... then came.. it's a baby boy... my gynae smiled happily and congratulate us... i was like wow.. i tot it is a boy too even before i knew the gender... no wonder they say mummy know best... can even predict so accurately... keke.. actually a lot of ppl tell me could be gal but i just dun think so lo... so i am right! seeing how God create this child in my womb gets me so excited and thankful all the time.. i would put my BB scan at my cupboard so i can see him before i go work or gai gai... when i see the scan today, i almost teared cos to me, Isaac is a wonderful creation.. and to me, he is a miracle child after what i had gone thru this season.. and i believe BB Isaac will bring laughter to ppl like what the name indicate also.. i could feel him move even as i type this.. maybe he know so he happy... hur hur..
well last week was really a busy week... tues to thurs was youth div planning so plan whole day.. but then also backside itchy cos play game with Vic till very late... ;p then fri morning got admin meeting liao... sat - sun was youth PEW.. this PEW i really feel so stoned the whole day... was really tiring cos must do admin, co-ordination and ministry.. so was just running ard... so tired... *bleah* alas then sunday noon came.. i was so happy lo. hur hur.. partly tired also cos fri night was at F1 rock concert... cos hubby wants me to accompany him and i also wanna spend time with him after the long week of being apart... it was fulfilling but ya good that i can rest till late before i go see Dr Kek.. oops got to sleep liao cos tomorrow long day again... night night God... :)

well it is another farewell... this time round is for Carol... it seems so fast and unbelievable even.. like one moment i see her, the next moment she is gone... hmmm feel kinda sad seriously... i couldnt cry la cos i normally dont.. but i do feel like my heart sink when she went in.. but i am very happy for her.. its like her dream come true.. and i pray that she will continue to draw close to God.. she had been such a blessing thats why there are so many ppl there.. her current cell and even her ex-cell members are there.. its the seed that she had sowed into the lives of so many.. thats impressive.. but yeah hope to see her in Dec..
went back with derrick, yong jin, davin and simon., alex drove us home and we all had a long good chat... gonna have lunch with them tomorrow.. well some  are shifting clusters liao so wont really see them much.. wa will really miss derrick, davin and ernie.. they are amazing.. i thank God that i can get to know them... samuel is going to alex cluster also.. he very cute.. he tapped my shoulder and was like i am going to be in different cluster with him.. i was sad la but i just tell him that it is a good change...
changes are good and they are to help to bring growth to the lives of others.. so yeah i will continue.. until i give birth... which is 5+months down the road... so scary but exciting... :)

and with all we have
with all we are
we have come far
to lift Your name on high
cos it's all abt You Jesus
It's all about You
Worthy God
We will never stop singing Your praise

it's amazing how God brings me to a point of always remembering his goodness.. when the times i get distracted or down, He brings me to a level of comfort... well i do feel sad that Carol is leaving this friday... but it is for good.. i thank God for answerin her dreams.. it's so beautiful when God release the dream to reality.. it's a time when she can step into a land where she desires... she dreams of going there to study.. it's amazing that when we fear and do not dare to dream, God brings us to a place where dreams unveil and is brought to reality.. i am glad and honoured i can be part of this journey...  i may not be always there for her but i am glad to know her... i believe all these that God had given to her is because she chose to honour God and put God first above all else.. God works best n always in the most amazing way.. new beginning new season.. i pray that God will guide her n lead her.. even though i will really miss her... :(

i prayed for my sister over msn earlier.. i think this is like the 1st or few times i did prayed for her... she was complaining of headache so i shared wih her on how COOS had been experiencing miracles.. so i tell her i will pray.. but her head still pain... but it's ok cos God will work in His own ways.. my family's salvation are very important to me and i hold that very dearly to my heart.. i always tell God that all will know Him one day.. i am anticipating for this day...

i am trying to stay awake half the time today and my memory is failing me... gosh!!! but yes i will pray that it will get better!!! good thing  is my complexion getting better!!! haha prayer works!!! suck all the pimples dry dry!!!! :D

oh man lately i am so sleepy again... dunno why also.. quite strange cos i am entering into my 2nd trimester but i dun feel so tired when i was in my 1st trimester at the later part... but happy thing is that besides the fatigue, i am not having other stuff except the pimples are popping out.. haha!! sec advance finishing soon so at least not so tiring... ppl kept getting me to list down the stuff i need for BB.. but i cant think of so much now... the only ones i can think of are:

1) Changing Mat
2) Bath Tub
3) Mattress for Cot/ Play Pen
4) Sheng Siong/ Ikea/ Taka/ Robinson Voucher
5) Cash

then no more liao wo.. cos a lot of things ppl are giving me and i dun wanna buy unneccesary stuff also... thank God my sis is giving me a stroller and a hundred other stuff... Chiong family are kindly passing me their stuff also.. so technically i am not lacking anything else excpet those above... unless i can think of more lo.. hmmm which i hope not too many stuff cos i am saving for hospital fee...

but yes above all these else, i am so happy awaiting for the birth of my BB that will be next year march.. i cant wait... keke.. even though i know will be more stressful la.. but it's like a dream come true after so long... i thank God for ppl around me who really care so much also.. i dun want to take for granted also.. someone made a comment saying that now is the best time to be pampered by ppl for the reason that i am pregnant.. but i dun like cos i dun wanna take ppl for granted or just get more attention and help just because i am pregnant.. ppl are concerned abt me because they love me and i dun wanna abuse that love that is given.. i wanna appreciate them just as how they had always treat me...

sometimes i do get quite emotional... not like i will cry or what... just feel sad or angry and will snap very fast at situations.. not at people la but will get frustrated inside of me.. its getting better liao so not so bad... Jon knows abt it even though i dun express it out but it helps me when i talk to him to describe the feeling i am experiencing inside of me...

i am very touched by his testimony on Thursday.. not that i never knew all these but when it comes in a package like this, i am like waaaa that one my husband... haha.. i thank God for all that he experienced and what i experienced as well.... i told God like for us as parents to be, we are already getting so much... i pray tat my children will experience more.. i pray everyday that my BB will love God and will be obedient to what God calls BB to do.. to be a channel of blessing, comfort, joy and love to people around.. to see and experience greater things that what we experience.. that the pair of hands will heal the people, will raise the dead and will comfort those who need love... i am excited and i dreamed that when we grew old, we will see how God had bless our children and how they will grow so much in Him.. thats all i ask.. i dun mind if our children dun have so much education all these... the most impt thing is to know who God made them to be and what they are called to do..
 

I am so happy whenever i go see my gynae.. i love going to her as she is nice and motherly.. she makes me feel safe and ya do advise me when i ask her stuff... i do appreciate also that Jon will always go with me when i go to the clinic.. it had become our fav outing on mondays!! i prefer to go on off day as it is too stressful to go on work days... i dun like the idea cos i think it's like skiving. keke... and i can relax and not rush back to work.. now BB is 5.61cm and growing healthy... i am reallly blessed with supportive ppl around me.. i never expect to get stuff from ppl at all.. was intending to buy them at a later stage but yeah my sis, deb and si min was very nice to offer stuff to me.. i did buy some BB stuff liao so yeah should be sufficient for the time being ba i guess... i am not sure what to get also.. LOL.. but yeah Jon and i are very excited and thinking how little BB will be like.. Jon had been reading the book of John to BB almost everyday.. i would listen to my IPOD so that BB can hear my fav worship songs... but lately i love christmas songs by Corrinne May.. keke.. i thank God for this little one that will birth out next year.. BB had bring a lot of comfort and joy to my family and me..
June wasn't the most fantastic month for me when i had 2 people i knew passed away.. first was my grandfather.. still remember i visited him on wed but he passed away on wed.. didnt expect him to pass away so fast maybe even though i know he was having cancer.. was struggling to go for non-christian funeral and having to make sure my mum is ok.. i stayed there most times.. 2nd was Charles who passed away just that sunday... i was still talking to him on sat.. Charles had been a great colleague and i like his attitude in work.. his wake was on Tues when my grandfather's funeral was on Tuesday as well... after going for my grandfather's funeral, i tot i will be ok to attend Charles' wake.. so i went in the evening... the moment i saw Charles' pic at the coffin, it dawn unto me that he really passed away.. i was shocked and lost i guess... like i felt people i knew leaving me just like that... i didnt know how to react for a moment.. i never felt like that before... it was worship session when they sang God will make a way.. i was tearing when i sang that song:

God will make a way
where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
hold me closely to His side
with love and strength
for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

i fought with different thoughts that were going thru my mind that moment.. wanting to believe in His will and yet why are things suddenly going this way?

i cant stay anymore and told my hubby i wanna go home immediately.. i broke down the moment i leave the place... i had to stop for a while to catch my breath cos i was crying so badly.. i told my hubby i wanna walk home.. that's what i do when i am down and a way i talk to God.. i asked God why people are leaving me just like that?
God just replied:" as i take away lives, i do birthed out new live"

i didnt understand exactly as i just thought God meant life and death are just part and parcel of life...

one week later, i realise that i am pregnant.. then i knew what God meant when He told me while i was walking home...

i really thank God that this chiild is a one who bring comfort and will continue to do so.. i pray that Jon and i will be parents who willl teach BB what it meant to be a Christ lover, not just a church goer.. Lord, i thank You for all that You have done... even when i struggle, You never fail to bring the best for me.. Thank you for watching over my family and me.. :)

its been a while since i find it so hard to sleep... dun know why also... but i do thank God it doesnt happen often... if not i will be in trouble... so many things had happened just this short span of time n i am still tryin to process them... from death to life... from sorrow to joy.. it just reminds me of the song blessed be your name... whether rain or shine, God is to be praised.. was reading the supernatural way of Royalty and really enjoy reading it.. almost finishing and gotta do it fast so i can return to Peter who had graciously lend me th book for a while.. it's really fast cos now is already August... next month will be having sec leaders advance n youth div planning.. schedule is gonna be packed but yeah it's gonna be fun..
was doing the pottery on sat with the sec 2 leaders.. carol and i were at one table.. it was quite interesting cos she made a mistake n she cant do it again... so gota throw it away and make a new one.. so she made a comment saying, God cant make a mistake with us, if not it will be discarded.. and we were doing the pottery with the best that we can.. i was reminded that ya thats how God made us to be.. He was careful n He make sure He doesnt make a mistake.. and He wants to create the best that He can.. its just amazing and i do thank God for Derrick's effort.. had a really fun time even though it was early morning... i love this group of leaders.. they give their best and it's nice to just know them better.. all different but their gifts and talents made them successful in where they are placed at.. i am excited to see how i can grow together with them.. even though all of them are younger than me, i do learn a lot from them and they are reall interesting ppl.. ok gotta try to sleep now... night night God...

Yay! my taiwan trip is confirmed!!! so i will be going there from 17th - 25th may... so happy to go and look for teh bao and to just have some time with God... i am quite amazed as just before the trip was even being mention, i was just telling God that i really wish i can go for a trip where i can just spend time with Him adn then this trip came about... it is really cool and i am blessed by it.... i cant wait to be there to just really soak in His presence and also to spend time with ms LTP la... Thank you Lord for providing... it's really amazing and the timing cant be more perfect! :)

Well i am really thankful for this weekend even though it had been a crazy week for me.. today was really special as i experience God's healing touch on people's life again... Ps Chad was preaching and at the end of it, an altar call was made.. i went up to help as i got nothing to do and since got to wait for my hubby, might as well do something then just being loboing around... Ps David saw me and got me to be one of the catcher where Ps Chad is.. then after praying for the first lady, he was praying for this lady with pain on her shoulder and toe.. so after praying for a while and me in the catcher's position for a while, suddenly Ps Chad looked at me and told me to stand beside him... then he asked me if i knew that i had the anointing of healing on me.. he said that he could feel the anointing from me even as he was praying and while i was helping him to catched the "slained ones".. so i was like errr... cos i cant remember if ppl said that before a not.. so i put my hand on the lady's toe and started praying for her... then pray a few times liao she was still experiencing pain... so i was like.... Ps Chad came over and he was saying there is a spirit of "inflation" or something??? dunno also la then he started explaing that it will "press on" to create the pain so he command that to go... then the lady said she felt the pain left her... then she commented that the pain on her right shoulder was there... then i notice Ps Chad smiled at me n as what i expect, he told me to pray for the spirit to leave.. then i was stressed cos i dunno how to pronounce the name of the spirit.. so i quickly tell God and just go by faith!! then the lady told me that the pain was gone.. i was like THANK GOD!!! i must say i am really emcouraged! i actually wanted to go off liao cos my hubby is finally done but then i notice that Ps Chad was looking at my direction... so of cos pai seh to go off mah... then i went to support in prayer also.. after everything, Ps Chad thanked me and told me that i had the anointing of healing and that i am going to see breakthrus in my life.. i claim the promise in Jesus' name!! that His Kingdom come, His will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.. God told me that the LOrd's prayer is a powerful one and i wanna do more research on this so that i can have a better understanding of what it is! All the glory goes to you Lord! :D

well it is contradicting i know... work had not been as crazy as last 2 months... finally able to breathe for a while... free cos i put aside time to spend more time at home recuperating from the crazy stuff for 2 months.. and preparing my trip soon!! so excited that i can have a break with Jon... it means a lot to me to be able to just spend time alone with him and noone to call him or me! so yeah.... CNY is coming too so gotta do spring cleaning, buy cny goodies and packing the red packets which i had not done so cos we somehow just couldnt find the time to do it.. hmmm so fast and in less than 3 months, my contract with church will end.. i will be planning for my first baby too ard that time... scary but i think it is gonna be amazing! i always wonder how is it like to have my own children... i just pray for a healthy, cheerful and a child who will be a blessing to others... :)

well had been sick for this whole week.. children's saliva is very potent.. haha... busy week clearing all the work of last year n beginning my new stuff for this year.. havent recover from the craziness yet and really wish to get some time off and just chill out... thank God for my bangkok trip end of the month... i need a break from all the hectic schedule... not really planning for any big trip this year as jon and i are planning for our ang moh baby.... but yeah i would love to go to one place i had not been before i have my first child.. i wanted to start on doing my nail art again but i am really tired since nov... but i am happy to be at home having the peacefulness all to myself while Jon is hard at work... haha!! it just feels amazing to be colleagues with my hubby at different dept but can go to work, have lunch and knock off together most days... i need to do my SMART goal that i am supposed to share with Peter soon... oh no!! i cant think of any goal except to sleep soon later... really sleepy but need to wind down.. and my neighbour downstairs is really irritating to be knocking stuff at this time of night... grrrrrrr... 
Christian Loubutin's boutique is open now and i'm so thrilled!! hopefully i can buy my second pair soon... but yeah i kinda gotta stop shopping liao actually..
God had talked talked to me on certain stuff and really speak to me during these few days.. i just gotta reflect and ya seek direction from Him after my contract ends.. knowing to continue or stay... He is faithful all the time..

it is a nice thing to be able to go to work with my hubby... to see him in office every now and then... even though he scare me quite a few times. haha! it's quite amazing that we can both work in the same office.. when i can see him more.. esp periods when i dun get to go out with him at all... it's nice knowing that i can still have short moments together every now and then... someone to accompany me for lunch every day!! :)
got quite a few things that i got to process... to make sure that all things fall in place... to see how God work and to rely on Him... to draw wisdom and strength on Him... to worship Him and to give my very best.... :) 

Well it had been a crazy dec for 2008 and a fulfilling one indeed.. though i am busy with a million things, i am grateful... i thank God for just bringing me thru so many things and i know that the strength that i drew was from Him.. i couldnt have manage without Him... i am seeking for challenges and directions.. i face my struggles which are so real and makes me vulnerable.. i have difficulties expressing but God helped me and showed me to be selfless... i wont struggle that much becos i am a conqueror in Him.. i fight a good battle.. the most amazing thing to wake up on my birthday was to thank God for creating me.. just saying thank you Jesus.. amazing grace how can it be... such love that is expressed so extravagantly but yet at the same time, so simply.. for God so loved the world... for God so loved me.. God reminded me to be thankful with all that i have... i praise Him becos i am wonderfully and fearfully made... who shall separate me from God.... it had been a blessing for me in 2008... a lot of ups and downs... but He saw me thru... and i gave my very best.. in my area of everything... i told God... help me to give my very best... not to what i can do but to how i can worship Him with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my mind.. i love the gift of tongues.. cos i can pray unceasingly.. i can express my love to Him in a greater measure.. i am anticipating more... more of His glory shining upon me.. i used to think the blessing song is a cheesy old folk song.. but every week as i hear the lyrics, i begin to appreciate that... becos He is gracious and His face shines upon me to give me new strength and love that is constant.. i thank God for giving me a heart to love... to be able to love.. to love the ppl around me.. i am not perfect.. i do struggle with ppl... but He allows me to see them in His light... we all have our struggles in life.. who doesnt? i am no better...
i am conscious of the role i am in church.. working in church doesnt make me holier.. it creates a greater awareness that ppl out there do not know Him and most imptly, my life as  a child of God... i cant be working in a christian environment and yet missing out what God had intended... Jenn and i were talking the other day and for her, her family keeps her reminded... as for me, ppl ard me who do not know God... i miss the times when i can share the gospel to ppl ard me.. sharing his love story to the many out there.. i was talking to my facial therpist the other day abt Him and i know i sow a seed in her life...
His providence amazed me.. a lot of my friends always tell me that i have more than a lot others have.. the blessing that God had showered in my life.. the one person i thank most in my life is Jon.. he gives me love that i never experience and i know he loves me the way as How he loves God.. he forgives me when i make mistakes and he always assures me on how he will be there for me... may not be immediately as he is not God but he never fails to comfort me... he is a great leader, a great friend and a great hubby to me... i loved the times when we can go overseas and just spending the time with the 2 of us.. noone else to be in between us... i always thank God for him... :)
i love my job.. i love the position i am in... though i am the youngest in the whole office, it doesnt make me smaller.. i am an equal... i may not know a lot of things but i learn from them... i thank God that i have a team who are selfless, God focused and loving the youth so much!! everyone shares the same passion and go for it in their own individual ways... i thank God for my boss cos she had been gracious.. i think i made her puke blood quite a few tims but yeah she's cool.. John C had always been a big bro... always looking out for me... guarding me when i am tired especially.. great friend and bro... Victor and Peter i will call them my guardian angel... they watch out for me and tell me what i should do or correct me when i did wrong.. josh is really like a neighbour and friend to me... quite amazing how i can talk to him n stuff.. Charissa is like a da jie da like that... protecting me wherever i go also.. cos i am quite "hao pian" kind.. so yes and that makes up a great team.. i am their cheerleader.. keke...
i thank God for alll the friends i made throughout these few years... the SE family had been a great joy to me... i appreciate every single one of them even though there may be hardships and misunderstandings... i thank God for friends like Liana n Rachel.. they keep me going when i stop to take a breather... they help me process things which i fail to see...
i thank God for God... for loving me unconditionally... for just being there when i need a listening ear... when i needed someone to give me the smartest advice.. my goal for this year is to know the bible more.. gonna read more n have a deeper understanding of the Word.. and preparing myself to be a mum as well as Jon and i plan for a baby this year... :)

well i am just so overwhelmed by God today... i had not interceed so "furiously" for so long.. and i am just glad about imparting of gifts and talents to other ppl.. to speak life into others.. i am honored that i could be part of it.. and it gave me immerse joy and freedom as well... it's really so much better to give than receive.. i do not give so that i can receive but i rejoice for the fact that ppl receive something.. it's like them receiving a big present from God and when they open up the present, they shall see transformation... i was also reminded during altar call to do that as well... not just doing that once then forget it.. and i really am so excited cos i know it's a beginning of Him working thru the ppl i prayed for... not my prayers but His hands upon them when they lay at the feet of Jesus... so amazing.. i see how God loves them and i am just so happy.. and God is so funny... i treated my p6 to drinks and i was not expecting anything back cos it's just nice to treat the little ones of God.. and God was saying to me that He will bless me back... not that i ask for it or anything.. it was just something very random that He spoke to me when i went to order drinks for them.. at night, i went with a bunch to have dinner at cineleisure.. as per normal my english wasnt that great and i wanted to order this "chimonology" dish, i was like huh.. then the guy was saying if i could pronounce it properly, he would give it to me for free.. then i failed obviously.. then he gave me a second chance and offered 50% discount.. so i ask for help!! from ms amelia chong, my new friend that i got to know from SWAA... hee hee.. then i was given the correct answer!! haha but i actually tot the cashier was just playing with me and after that, he really gave me the discount and i was thrilled!!! haha.. i only paid like $3 for my food.. and i was blessed by Deanne with hmmm this very "chim" dessert also.. yay!! God is good and generous to all..THANK YOU GOD!!! :D

lately had been trying to process a lot of stuff on my head.. directions to take and roles... just need a time when i can just talk to God and be in His presence... just talking to Him and being His friend.. i wanna hear more of His heart's desire so i can step into His path.. there are a lot of stuff i would like to do but i had to put it to a halt.. i wanna achieve goals in my timing but i need to know He makes things beautiful in His time... i am anxious but i got to wait.. to see Him move n to wait for His instructions.. i wanna run away at times but i see His hands guiding me.. i wanna break free from these and know that He is God... above all that i am going thru, His rod and staff is with me and that even as i walk thru the valley of the shadows of death, i will not fear... for He will be my comforter... i wanna dance like i had not danced before.. i wanna sing like i can see Heaven invades earth... i wanna be still and know that He is God... above all....

Well its true that when i come into the presence of God i am undone.. i am renewed.. my old self died... i was reflecting and was thinking of how selfish i could be... just thinking of all my own stuff and thinking what i could benefit out from things.. i repented there and then...i had been distracted.. i had felt that i needed to possess stuff to reach to a level.. but i suddenly felt that i miss the presence and dependence i can draw from Him... how i can be embraced in His arms once again.. how i will just worship Him with no conditions... like a child just enjoying the company from the dad.. i miss the familiar voice that i can hear from Him... i miss His tangible presence.. i know that He is near and never far.. i know that all i had to do is just say Yes Lord here i am. i am just thankful for this privilege.. i know there are questions in my head that i can only just keep quiet and not get the answers cos it will not do me good... much as i am tempted, i know that i cant just do that cos i know it doesn't bring glory and honour to Him... i remember the reason that i live., i remember the choice that i made.. i remember why i chose to love.. i remember when i was in a dark corner when God just spoke... i remember when i was crowned as princess... i remember my identity... Lord, never take me away from Your presence.. i want to be like moses where i will seek Presence and not the land filled with milk and honey but You are not there... it will be too painful.. i feel the pain when i was asking myself one day, what if i had not known God? what would my life be? will i even have a life? i know i had chosen the right path when i say Yes Lord here i am...

i was watching evan almighty the other day with ms huay at my place.. i kept asking God why He chose to place me in church to work when my desire is to reach out to ppl in the market place.. and i question why i have to give up everything to work in COOS... not that working in church is a horrible thing but just when i was about to get promoted and get increment all these... but God reminded me thru the movie that becos i ask for an opportunity.. i ask of God to place me in a place where i can serve this generation that is crying out to God.. i remember i told God that i was willing and i wanted to give Him all that i can.. God never forgets the promises i made to Him... He's just revealing them to me.. i was thinking the other day when was the last time i told God that i would give Him my very best... it was the time when i left my company to join church.. it had been a fulfilling 3 months.. i know that God is not only getting me to serve this generation but also to draw me closer and to embrace His love... nowadays every sat i get gold dust from God.. i was overwhelmed becos i remember there was this healing svc when i had a vision of God's gold dust falling into this church... and now i experience it myself... God overwhelmed me with His love every week... He's just replenishing this vessel that once got empty... and He's filling me up... every week He'll remind me that i'm serving this generation who's gonna be the history makers... i'm excited and yes Lord here i am, send me... :)

and yes my nano just died on me after serving me for so long.. thank God i got a refurbished ipod classic at a 50% discount!! and i can watch movie so i'm very happy! :)

Here in Your presence
we are undone
here in your presence
all things are new
here in your presence
everything bows before you
Wonderful
Beautiful
Glorious
Matchless in every way

i love this song a lot.. was doing my devotion for the camp and i just lie to watch the sky.. how beautiful God created the sky.. and there i was listening to this song and just soaking in His presence.. indeed i am a new creation.. everything bows before Him... and here in His presence.. i can be who i am.. i am undone.. i am reminded i am a child of God.. i am someone dearly loved by Him.. the camp taught me quite a bit of stuff, especially working in a team.. sometimes i feel like working alone cos it's faster and dont have to interact with so many people.. but it's really amazing when  you see work done more efficiently.. this camp is really so different from SE camp.. i feel so old man.. haha!! then my body is aching all over.. think becos i got a lot of reactions then they all plotting to sabo me all the time... haha!! but it was fun la and i get to know quite a number of people from the sec leaders.. overall it was fun but super duper tiring!

well had been a tough week but even watching chronicles of narnia brings me this hope and this future God promises.. right from how christopher was sharing how down he was to be HIV positive and this msg to see Jeremiah 29:11.. God gives us this hope when we least deserve it and at the time we are desperate... God always remind me of this verse when i am feeling so down and out.. He gives me this new strength that i know i can always count on Him no matter what.. i was excited to watch the movie and i kept anticipating that Aslan will show up cos he was suppose to be representing God.. but He didnt came at first.. He came later but it was a good timing.. where the people give their very best.. God have his timing.. sometimes it's so hard to trust.. i stumble at that so many times but God prove me wrong everytime.. He came at the right time.. even when some seems to give up, the little girl didnt lose hope and Aslan revealed himself to her first... well it may be that they didnt want to see him or something but i guess it is her childlike faith that allows her to see him.. God help me to always be still before You to know that You are God... no matter what storm that may come, i will know You are never far.. in fact You always choose to stay so close to me... help me not to just feed on my inward being.. let me see and hear what You had to say.. lead me to this path that You call righteousness.. create in me this heart that is always chasing after You.. In Jesus' name, amen! :)

I'm just thinking and knowing God can heal.. i wanted my grand dad to be healed.. i know He can do it... was just talking to my mum and yeah she is strongly against me bringing my grand dad to the healing rally for the chinese service.. i was telling my mum that he only had that few months to live.. it's now or never.. anyway it doesnt cost anything or any harm to try.. her only reaction is that he doesnt like christianity and that are enough christians in the family to care much.. she says she doesnt want any gossips.. i wish i can do more.. i had been praying for my grand dad's condition.. i cant afford to have him just pass away and not knowing God... people around me should know who He is.. they should taste of this goodness and grace he had for each and everyone of us.. Lord i pray that You show Your miracle in the life of my grand dad.. i ask that You lay Your hands that he will be healed in Jesus' name.. i pray that thru this that the family can get to know You.. becos i believe that none should die of sickness or disease... nothing is impossible for You Lord.. i pray that Your glory come right now Lord... pls Lord... i know You can..

yeah i finally shift into my new place liao... it's really crazy the past week cos i was busy shifting and painting the house.. thank God some of them came to help me so i actually only painted the kitchen to be exact.. jon did the stencil in metallic gold for the living room which is really nice.. i like our new place loh cos very cozy for me.. simple but nice.. only the mater bedroom more exaggerated but still not too bad la.. nothing really need to buy cos i got everything i needed for my new place liao.. hee hee.. so yeah thank God for the strength that He had given me to just sustain.. hur hur.. Jon and i went for grocery shopping and i really salute him sia.. i think he never really done that cos he can tell me a box of grapes cost 99cents.. i tot they were having some huge promotion then actually it's 99cents per 100gram.. i almost fainted.. haha but ok la cos he really wanted to buy grapes so i cant deprive him of that.. he's been a good husband helping me with the house work.. just need to get the washing machine fixed up cos the water is leaking from the pipe.. but other than that i'm happy! jon was like: " i got my house"... kinda scary for him cos it's like first time living on his own.. i'm used to it cos i was living with my in laws liao ma... and i normally dun really react so much to changes.. he more jialat than me.. hur hur.. but yeah he's better now.. keke shall post up my house pic to facebook soon... only ms huay, kev and marcus seen my new house nia... OH went to see my nephew as well... he's grown so much since i last saw him... hes so cute... my dad kept telling jon and myself to have baby soon... thank God my sis came to the rescue and say it's expensive to have children.. haha... wa piang her hospital bill is super ex sia.. i almost fainted when she tell me the amount... ok got to prepare for mother's day dinner at my in-law place liao... hmmm... food should be good... keke.. i pray that there will be steak! amen!!! :D